Since I can't work/go to school I usually watch t.v. throughout the day. Usually it's scientific stuff, but every once in a while it's something ridiculous like Jerry Springer. I know it sounds odd but when you watch it as much as I do you begin to notice a pattern.
Of course I know there are exceptions.
1. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
It always amuses me when a story starts with "Well (s)he's cheated on me before...". Gee, really? Why didn't you leave the first time? Some adults are like children: if they think can get away with it, they'll keep doing it.
2. If you get rejected by your lover, don't expect your spouse to take you back.
It amuses me when someone leaves their spouse for their lover, but that lover rejects them. They try to do some major backtracking, but that 1st person is like "Oh hell no". Karma, ass.
3. If someone is cheating on you, it's best to just leave.
They obviously don't care enough to be faithful. It always gets me when the girlfriend/baby momma fights the woman he cheated with. HE is the one that cheated knowing full well what he was doing was wrong. Quite frankly he didn't care enough, so why should you?
4. If she has an Adam's Apple, run!
It's really funny when somebody who's OBVIOUSLY a transsexual comes on and reveals she's actually a man and the guy starts freaking out. It's definitely a "...really?" moment.
5. If you're pregnant, don't wait like 5 or 6 months to tell the father.
This I seriously don't get. These women have been pregnant for MONTHS but they don't tell the father until it's been like 6/7 months. Sure, they were really irresponsible in the first place, but that doesn't give you the excuse to be irresponsible now.
6. If you've seen their face at family functions, just say no.
It always grosses me out when someone is sleeping with a cousin or something, especially when it's someone who changed your daipers. I think I saw one where a woman was sleeping with her stepfather or something. That one SERIOUSLY grossed me out (especially because I think I was watching that episode with MY stepfather).
7. If they're old enough to be your parent or young enough to be your child, d6on't date them.
This is another one that really creeps me out. If you can remember the Cuban Missile Crisis or you weren't alive when 9/11 happened, then ew. Find someone your own age.
8. If he has a female friend (particularly if they spend a lot of time together) he's pprroobbaabbllyy cheating.
This one's a HUGE exception- I have had TONS of guy friends and I have only kissed 2/slept with 1 WHILE WE WERE DATING.
9. If the shoes come off, it's on!
It's kinda funny when whoever kicks their shoes off as they're coming out onto the stage. Catfight!
10. White "rapper"= jobless bum
It's funny when they try to justify not having a job with "I'm just waiting for my rap career to take off" (or something like that). Um, ok. I think the only successful white rapper, like, ever is/was Eminem (personally I don't like rap so I'm really not sure).
11. If you meet a woman online, she's pprroobbaabbllyy a dude.
Another exception one.
It's funny when a trannie brings some poor unsuspecting dude who thinks she's actually a woman. It's typically another "... really?" moment.
12. "Dancer" = stripper
Of course I know "dancer" actually is a legitimate career but it's funny when they try to justify it. "Dancer"? No, honey, you're a skank on a pole.
13. Cakes aren't for eating.
I don't think I've ever seen a cake survive for more than 5 minutes before getting thrown/smeared on some fat hillbilly...
14. "But I love him!"
He beats you, takes your money and constantly cheats, yet you "love" him? Have some self respect.
I know Jerry Springer is likely staged. I watch it because it's entertaining.